21. Life is a gift and I don't intend on wasting it.
Start weight: 78kg (176.0lbs)
Current weight: 70kg (160.6lbs)
Goal weight: 58-60kg (127-132lbs)
There are some days where I just want to give up. Where I cry for hours and believe I have no hope left. There are some days where I feel so alone that I just want to close the world off and leave for good.
But I know that one day things will change and it will happen because of me. Because I did it, I made things change. I’m not going to wait around for someone to save me, I learnt along time ago that no one is coming. Even though I have no money, no job and no money to pay off college I know things are going to be okay because I believe in myself. I will make a better life for myself. I will stay strong.
"Rock bottom was the solid foundation on which I rebuilt my life"
Posted on 16 March, 2012
Even the darkest of storms eventually pass
Stay positive, keep moving forward.
Posted on 5 March, 2012
Posted on 27 February, 2012
I let myself suffer for two years before I spoke to someone. I wish I had done it earlier, it has really changed my life. I know you might not believe it, I know I used to think it was bullshit but it does it get better. It really does.
You guys should also know that you could go through a few people until you find someone that will really help you. I tried to reach out to my friends but none of them helped or knew what to do. I turned to my family and they looked away. I finally realized I needed professional help. I booked in to see a psychologist. The first appointment went well and so did the second. After a while he kept canceling. A total of 8 appointments were cancelled. I feel deeper. I thought if I’m paying someone and they don’t want to help me, I thought it was going to be the end. I felt helpless and worthless. I felt so let down. I didn’t talk to anyone and fell into a dark place for six months before I decided to give it another go. I found a new psychologist and she is amazing. I’m now rebuilding and changing my life.
You can too.
"Rock bottom was the solid foundation in which I rebuilt my life"
Posted on 24 February, 2012
Posted on 18 February, 2012
So today is the day I begin the rest of my life. I’ve been extremely tired of life, hating myself, my body and my current outlook on life. I hate that I can’t just throw something on and walk out of the house, that I have to be cautious with what I wear and not be able to wear a bikini in public. What kind of life is that?
I’m sick of having to go to therapy to discuss this, to be anxious, to be depressed, to be tired of life. So I have decided that this needs to change. No more complaining about why me, why did I get this life, why did I get these problems because frankly noone really gives a fuck.. I don’t want all this negativity in my life. This is the life I have been given and I’ve got to accept it and make the most of it. So I’m starting with a healthy body and hopefully I healthy mind will follow.
I’m currently 80kg (24th December)
My ultimate goal weight is to really just be happy but I would say 57-60kg.
I hardly know about healthy eating or exercise so I’m a real rookie but I’m willing to learn..
I’m going to use this blog as a diary basically.. It doesn’t really bother me if no one reads but if you do and you have any advice or questions I will be happy to talk.
I will be posting a picture of my current body and from then on every 2 weeks I will have a weigh in and every month I will have a picture update..
Posted on 23 December, 2011